EPIC things are happening.....

A little over a year ago I was sitting in my parent's basement with no idea what was to come. I had just transitioned out of an organization I helped to start and with it had moved back from sunny Los Angeles to hot and humid South Dakota. I knew what my dreams were. I knew what my heart held. But those things seemed so far and distant at the time as I was in need of deep mending and healing to see those things brought forth.

Early on in my time back in South Dakota a dear friend invited me to travel and move overseas with her and join the work she was doing amidst the marginalized and least of these in her context. While this definitely tugged at strings of my heart and was something I wanted to pursue, as I prayed the Lord spoke gently to my spirit and said "You can go and I will bless it. Or you can stay here and see what I have for you." Fighting everything in my flesh I chose to stay and am so thankful I did.

My year in South Dakota holds so many treasures, more than I can begin to share in a blog. While finishing my master's degree I took courses that better equipped me to heal and move forward in my calling, as well as set up on going patterns of renewal and health that will allow me to fully be me and fully serve God in a way that is holistically healthy, honoring, and wise.  I found family, grace and unconditional love and acceptance in a place I had written off as hard and dry. I have encountered depths of beauty and hospitality in a place I thought held neither. It was a sweet season with family, getting to travel to Texas twice and visit my sister and her family, and getting to visit my brother and his  family more frequently in Wisconsin, not to mention sweet nights of playing cards with mom and pop. I was able to connect with friends that time and distance had hindered in years past, and made new, deep relationships that will remain a part of my life forever. While still on a journey of healing, that's just it: I am on the journey and have engaged the journey with a supportive team behind me. Most of all, I've been able to walk some inner roads with the Lord I perhaps would not have had the grace to walk anyplace else in any other season. I have touched the pits of my soul and have begun to soar the heights of potential and possibility and can say whole heartedly that because of the soul-work of this year I am able to love myself, value myself and care for myself and in that do the same for others in greater ways than I've known before. Because of this year I am so confident of the goodness of God and live in that every day, regardless of circumstances. This has birthed a perspective change--what was once only head knowledge has become a lifestyle and though appearing as a subtle shift, it is HUGE on its implications of my life... and it is good. As I result of this year I can confidently say that I am the healthiest and best I have ever been in my life. While there is still a long road in front of me to walk, today I celebrate that the previous statement is a truth in my life.

Amidst the transformation and changes the soul-work of this season has brought internally, some external changes have happened as well. First on June 1, 2013 I officially graduated with my Master of Arts in Global Urban Leadership from Bakke Graduate University. Yay! Second, on May 30th, 2013 I was officially accepted into the Doctorate of Transformational Leadership with Bakke Graduate University and on July 15, 2013 will begin my first Doctorate class. While bringing me immense joy, it is still sometimes hard for me to believe that this is the path God took me on--I never thought I would be an academic so to speak. Heck, 8 years ago I wasn't sure I was going to go to undergrad, let alone pursue a Doctorate. But God is good and faithful and knows so much better than we, and now that I'm here, I'm convinced I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that I was made for this. What an exciting, perfect place to be.  On top of this there is one more exciting piece of news. At the start of May, one of my Bakke professors contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in working for her organization. I was flown to Ventura California where I spent a week interviewing for a position with a non-profit organization called EPIC Leadership Center (epicleadershipcenter.org) and after our time together they and I agreed that, at least for this season, it's a perfect fit. This means in August I will be moving back to Southern California, this time to Ventura! (SoCal friends get pumped! :) haha! ).

Here's the scoop on EPIC. EPIC stands for Everyday Progress In Character. As EPIC's website reads, "The purpose of the EPIC Leadership Center is to engage people to build character in our vulnerable youth and reinforce it with their parents and family by developing everyday leaders throughout marginalized communities, using experiential learning and art as the mediums to produce responsible citizens.

We understand that some missions are simple to fit into a slogan on the back of a tee shirt.
However the mission of EPIC is substantial and requires a clear statement about each facet of what we do. Our goal is to transform the character of vulnerable individuals and their communities. Transformation cannot be equated with change as in a frog becoming a bigger frog. Transformation occurs when a frog becomes a prince. Unlike a fairy tale where transformation happens instantaneously, transforming people in real life almost always happens through taking the next step, then the one after that . . .

We Fulfill Our Mission By:

• Recruiting and training both competent professionals and youth in the community at large to become teachers and mentors for EPIC programs in marginalized communities;
• Partnering with the Josephson Institute in Youth Ethics to provide character training for EPIC leaders and students;
• Implementing Everyday Parenting classes for parents of our students where they learn effective strategies for reinforcing our character training;
• Developing everyday leaders in at-risk neighborhoods so that moral and ethical solutions to issues like violence, substance abuse, and gang related behaviors will come from deep within the community;
• Produce responsible citizens through art process workshops and interaction with the larger community. "

 Right now EPIC works in an area of Ventura called Cabrillo Village and in Jos, Nigeria, with open doors and potential to expand into three other locations. My role in EPIC is interesting to say the least. I will be coming on as an intern, but will be interning as the Executive Director (right?!). Here's the deal.  I possess the qualities, gifting, talents, youth and passion that make me perfect for this position. What's more I am in a Doctorate program that will give me the credentials I need to become qualified and they are willing to invest in me and train me so that I can successfully take on this position. However, because I am in the process of attaining my Doctorate and they and I are both aware that these first few years will entail a lot of training, learning and growing on my part, we're starting as an internship. 

I wish I could adequately explain to you the environment and relationships that exist among the EPIC team via blog because it is this plus the peace from God that have me committing to this organization and wanting to work for them. The best way I can put it is in what the current Founder and Director said to me. It was something along these lines. "Annie, we know you'll make mistakes and we're willing to walk them out with you because we believe in you. Here's the deal. This is a job that could become your life job and that's great, we'd love it. But maybe it doesn't. Our hope is that when the time does come for you to transition you're in a place where you're ready to move forward into what God has for you next and EPIC is in a place where it's ready to move forward with what God has." Lovely right? 

Friends, I am so excited about all that is to come. My gifting, talents, passions, dreams and desires all fit so beautifully into this next phase of life from EPIC, to school, to self love and self care and the spaces in between. My heart is bursting with hope-filled anticipation. And yet, perhaps because I'm older and wiser than the first time I packed my car to move to California, I am also very aware that while joyous, exciting, fun and good there are going to be hard parts of this walk and that I am signing up for a sort of boot camp, where I will be growing at an accelerated rate. Like with children, fast growth spurts can bring growing pains. But I have counted the cost, and if it means I have to shed some of my childish ways faster and purge my flesh sooner, while it may cause a wrestle in me, I am so ready to do it because I feel God's heart and goodness in this. I cannot tell you what's to come but I guarantee the end result is good. 

For those of you who are more statistical based than story/feeling based, here are the cut and dry facts...plus a few more details :).  I am moving to Ventura in August to begin work with EPIC. EPIC is paying for housing, ministry expense, travel, etc. I have committed to fundraise my cost of living for two years (about $1000-$1500/month). I start my doctorate in July. In September I will be traveling with 3 other members of the EPIC team to Nigeria to train Nigerian teachers and scout out/meet with potential future EPIC locations and take my second Doctoral class in Nigeria (one of the MANY reasons I love BGU...I get to learn from and with my Nigerian colleagues in Nigeria. :) )

Today I am in Wisconsin visiting my brother and his family (umm with the sweetest almost two year old EVER!), then am off to visit a few friends in Northern Minnesota. I will be back in South Dakota Monday...Sioux Falls specifically and would love to see any of you I can before I leave. Also, as I mentioned in the above paragraph, I am trying to raise $1500/month for the next two years...and really am trying to do this in a month. Please be praying for me in this--I so feel God's backing behind this and know it's coming in, but would covet your prayers.  One of the things I realized after my last experience that was lacking in my life was committed relationships, not just financially, but people that I allowed to be fully invested in me. Part of what I'm developing in a support team is a team of people who are holistically invested in me--who are helping me set health goals and keeping me accountable, who are walking the inner workings of my life with me, who are praying diligently for me and I for them, who are committed to my walk with the Lord and I can be committed to theirs'--as one professor put it I am developing a Board of Trustees for myself...people who invest in me, but the investment goes beyond just financial backing. :)  Quick testimony--God is good as I haven't even started fundraising yet and already have $100/month committed by two sweet friends (well four as they are both married couples) who want to holistically invest in me. :) If you would like to be one of AZ's Board of Trustees let me know! I would love to meet with you and have coffee with you before I move. Either email me at anzirbel@gmail.com or Facebook me. :) 

On a final note, please save this blog as I have created it specifically to communicate with a larger audience this EPIC journey I am embarking on. My goal is to update weekly.

May the peace, joy, love and hope of God engulf you today in the goodness of his presence. 

For now,
AZ